Aural Satisfaction

August 19, 2010 2 comments

Two posts in two days?  I know what you’re all thinking:

“Andrew, isn’t there something else you should be doing?”

And the answer is yes.  Cleaning my bathroom.  But, procrastination aside, I digress…

Originally, I had planned for this blog’s content to be exclusively original.  No reposts of anything I saw on Jalopnik, no internet buzz propagated by Autoblog, no insanely well-crafted pictures from Speedhunters.  I wanted this blog to be my voice exclusively.

Then I watched my two favorite Youtube videos (for the umpteenth time), and realized that they must be shown to my fellow auto aficionados.

So, in order to remedy this situation, I will provide some good ol’-fashioned commentary to accompany the two videos I am posting after the jump.

Read more…

An Impassioned Plea to Expressway Drivers

August 18, 2010 3 comments

Of all the things I learned while at driving school, one sentence stuck in my mind the most:

“Driving is perhaps the most social experience you’ll have in a given day.”

The more I drive, the more I find this true.  Sadly, the more I drive, the more I realize that I’m the only person on the road that acknowledges this. Read more…

Categories: What Grinds My Gears Tags:

Lemme See Yo’ Grills…Disappear

August 13, 2010 1 comment

Equal opportunity employment has gone too far.

Apparently, they’re letting the blind design the front fascias at Honda.

Normally, I wouldn’t make mention of what I consider to be “design flaws,” since I can’t draw or engineer my way out of a paper bag.  However, I had the (awful) luck to encounter a Honda Crosstour on the street for the first time.

Photo credit:  honda.com

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They See Me Rollin’, They Hatin’…

August 7, 2010 1 comment

Despite the upbeat (or whatever you would call it) tone of the title, this is a sad entry.  Quite sad, indeed.

I’ll lay it out in pretty flat terms.  Some people have nice cars.  Other people, without nice cars, can become jealous of said nice cars.  From here, this jealousy can pan out in one of two directions.

If you’re a relatively normal human being, you can live vicariously through those with the nice cars.  You can crush on them from afar.  Maybe even start a blog about them.  (Get it?  Eh?  Eh?)

On the other hand, like a psychopath, you can pour aircraft stripper on them.

Not the kind of stripper you want on your car.

Read more…

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ,

Audrey

August 5, 2010 3 comments

Love is an interesting thing.  It fills our minds; every minute not spent with the one you love is spent thinking about that very individual.  I’m awash in that sea of feelings almost constantly.  That love isn’t directed towards a man or woman, though.  For me, I am in love with my car, Audrey.

We became a “thing” in April 2006.  I was buying a new (read: used) car, and I was perusing the lot of my local suburban Honda dealership.  Having driven my parents’ Hondas for a few years, I respected their effortless driving and superior reliability.  Naturally, I decided to get one for myself, albeit a bit older model.  After wandering around, examining the lot of the lot, I found her.  Silver, two doors, leather interior free of age-related wear, and just within my price range.  After a quick examination of the interior, I found two small cigarette burns in the sun visor, and a pullout change tray that had obviously been used as an ashtray by the previous driver.  Being a smoker myself, I realized that this car was perfect for continuing my vice; leather interiors are much more difficult to stink up, and there were already a couple reminders of where *not* to ash my cigarette.  Granted, this isn’t everybody’s first thought upon buying a car, but it was certainly a reason to consider.  After a brief test drive and a not-so-brief haggling session, I had myself a brand new (to me, at least) 1998 Honda Accord Coupe EX.  I named her Audrey because, like my friend of the same name, this car was absolutely beautiful, but damn, did she have a big ass.

Misogynistic? Perhaps a bit. Still a funny story to tell? Absolutely.

The next day, she wouldn’t start.  Read more…

Every Story Has A Beginning

August 5, 2010 Leave a comment

If this blog is going to be about the one thing that inspires me, the one thing that makes writing come easier to me, then I wouldn’t do myself justice if I didn’t write about my history with wheeled vehicles.

As a child, the one toy I wanted more than anything was a Power Wheels.  One of my friends down the block had one, and to me, it was the greatest toy ever created.  After all, what young child *wouldn’t* want to start driving as soon as possible?  I couldn’t explain my love for four-wheeled vehicles back then, although I knew that it held my attention longer than anything else.

I remember sitting on my front porch with my parents, between the ages of five and six, calling out the make of every car that drove down my street.  Something about the way they looked, the way they cruised effortlessly down the boulevard, captivated my sense of childhood wonder more than anything else.  More than candy, more than Disneyland, more than Legos and toy soldiers and Goosebumps books combined.  And it stayed that way.

Read more…